From Math Prodigy to "Not a Math Guy": My Journey Back to the Numbers
August 18, 2025 • Personal Growth
When I first walked into the Specialized IT school named after Muhammad Al-Khwarizmi, I was captivated by the future. The advanced curriculum in Math, Physics, and Computer Science wasn’t just a list of subjects; it was a gateway to innovation. I felt electric, thinking of the worlds I could build with that knowledge. Math was the key that unlocked everything else, and it didn’t take long for my fascination to ignite into a full-blown obsession.
The Golden Age of Equations
A huge part of that fire was my friend, Asadbek—a true math prodigy who recently won a silver medal at the International Mathematical Olympiad. We were in the same class, and our commutes home became symposiums on high-level mathematics. Asadbek lived and breathed numbers; I’m convinced his dreams are composed of complex proofs. I wasn't quite on his level of obsession, but his passion was contagious. After a year of our daily discussions, I felt a similar drive ignite within me. I was no longer just a student; I was an explorer, thriving on challenging problems and finding immense joy in venturing beyond the national curriculum.
The Slow Drift
But in the 9th grade, everything changed. Asadbek moved to another school, and our daily math dialogues vanished. The silence was deafening. Without my study partner pushing me, I found myself stagnating, hovering around standard problems instead of the fascinating, high-level puzzles we used to tackle together. My learning became confined to the school curriculum.
I tried to reignite the spark by finding a new teacher, and while he was fantastic, the internal drive wasn't there. I was going through the motions, scraping by on tests without the deep engagement I once had. Soon, my focus drifted entirely. I dove into intensive IELTS courses, then SAT prep. I convinced myself my math foundation was solid enough and poured all my energy into the English sections, underestimating the unique challenges of SAT math. The result was a 780—a great score, but a clear signal that my edge was gone. It was twenty points shy of my goal, and a thousand miles from where I used to be.
In just two years, I had gone from "I am a math guy" to "math is not for me." The fire had dwindled to a flicker, and I had started to believe it was gone for good.
The Epiphany: Math is a Mindset, Not a Subject
During my senior year, the disconnect became undeniable. I was cramming for school exams, finding basic concepts challenging, and battling a strange feeling that "math just wasn't for me." Looking back, I see how profoundly that shift affected my entire academic life.
I’ve come to realize that learning math isn't about memorizing formulas you’ll rarely use. It’s about training your brain to engage in active problem-solving. It teaches you to think with clarity, to seek the most optimal solution, and to build creativity in a way few other disciplines can. This is why universities everywhere test for it—math teaches you how to think.
The Comeback: Rebuilding the Foundation
In the age of booming AI, this skill is more critical than ever. Math is the bedrock of machine learning, data analysis, cybersecurity, and countless other fields that will define the next few decades. While I haven't mapped out my entire future, I know that a strong mathematical mind is the most versatile tool I can possess. It’s essential for being a better thinker, creator, and innovator.
So, I’m staging a comeback. Starting today, I am immersing myself in learning math once again. This isn't just about brushing up on old skills; it's about rebuilding my foundation from the ground up. My plan is concrete and I'm holding myself accountable:
- By the end of August: Finish the entire algebra chapter of the 1997-2007 Math Problems textbook.
- Starting in September: Systematically work through Khan Academy, beginning with Algebra 2, then SAT Math, Calculus, and AP Statistics, completing every course challenge along the way.
I’ve created a Google Spreadsheet to track my progress, set deadlines, and ensure I stay on course. This is more than just studying; it's a project to reclaim a part of myself I let go of. It’s about sharpening my logical thinking and rediscovering the joy of a well-solved problem. This is my journey back to the numbers, and I’m just getting started.